Funny tweets and bonus tips on how to age without getting "older"

The week's best columns, reports, tips, referrals and tirades from columnist Eric Zorn.

The new Twitter poll is posted here.  It's a good set — 14 finalists — and I don't have much hope for my personal favorite, the extremely dry ""On first base is a man named Who, same as the pronoun Who.' 'Ah, thanks for clarifying. That could've been confusing,'" by @dave_cactus. Last week's winner was "My therapist told me 'Write letters to the people you hate, and then burn them.' Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters," an amusing and oft-stolen quip whose origins I can't determine. Plagiarism is a constant problem on Twitter. People frequently steal one-liners and fail to attribute them, and only occasionally does the posse go after the thieves. My guess is that many users don't consider this kind of appropriation wrong, and they don't bother with attribution for the same reason most people don't bother with attribution when they tell a good joke. Anyway, if ever you see a stolen tweet in my list, let me know and I'll change the attribution to "various." Last Friday's column, My 14-point plan to be a good old man, pegged to my 60th birthday Saturday, was very well received I've assembled a list of what I'm calling new-decade resolutions — a set of 14 rules to try to live by (to try to put) a stop to the emotional process of aging — to the hardening and narrowing of thought, the skepticism and technophobia, the world-weariness and complacency that often seem to afflict people as they get older. It scored me an invitation to appear on WTTW-Ch. 11's "Chicago Tonight" program, and you can watch that segment here. Online, I directed readers to the milestone birthday story I published 10 years ago, 50 things I've learned in 50 years, including these nuggets of self-help wisdom: The Golden Rule is the greatest moral truth. If you don't believe in it, at least try to fake it. Keeping perspective is the greatest key to happiness. From a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth  It's 10 times easier to fall in love than to stay in love. And no matter what the sad songs say about romance, broken hearts do mend. Don't waste your breath proclaiming what's really important to you. How you spend your time says it all. It's never a shame when you admit you don't know something, and often a shame when you assume that you do. Johanna warned me not to write Wednesday column suggesting that college winter vacations be shortened lest I violate my intention not to become a grumpy old curmudgeon, but I believe I pulled it off: Long college summers are great for getting work experience earning money to pay tuition, hobo-style traveling, or other broadening endeavors. Starting them early gives students a head start on applying for jobs and internships. But long college winters are generally a waste. Some students secure temporary seasonal employment, but most don't. And with everything else going on and so many peers on different schedules, it's a lousy time to go backpacking through Europe or hike the Appalachian Trail…. Many parents responded in the negative when I asked on Facebook if college winter breaks are too long. They wrote, as I would write, of the pleasures of being in their children's company, of savoring the dwindling moments of having them home just rattling around, of interacting with them without much of the drama of adolescence. Four weeks? If I could stop time it would be four years. But I can't stop time. And I want what's best for them, not for me. See what I did there? Former Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn will stage a political comeback and be elected Attorney General! So says I in the roundup of news predictions for 2018. The column compared my forecast with those of the majority/plurality of respondents to an online poll (full results of that poll here). Meet me back here in late December. We'll see how we did and, as usual, stand in humbled amazement at all that we didn't see coming. And finally my weekly plea/reminder to subscribe to The Mincing Rascals on iTunes or wherever fine, free audio podcasts are served.  Unsubscribe   |   Newsletters   |   Privacy Policy   |   Terms of Service Copyright © 2018 | Chicago Tribune | 435 N. Michigan Ave. Chicago, IL 60611 ABOUT THIS EMAIL You received this email because you are following the Eric Zorn's Change of Subject newsletter.